My date with Ivan J. Krizan

When we moved onto this block in Hastings almost 2 years ago now, I discovered I had the cutest neighbor in the WORLD! His name is Ivan. He and his wife Mary, live right next door. He is so cute that he calls my dog Nells, "Lars!"

He is 76 and very hard of hearing; he lost good hearing in both ears in the war. He has 10% in one ear, and 20% in another. He said he doesn't want to use hearing aids because aside from the fact that they help with hearing, they also amplify everything. And he says he doesn't want to hear EVERYTHING better! SO, we all have to speak, slow and steady-not high pitched, and then be a translator between him and a worker if we are in public like I had to today at Caribou Coffee-there is where we had our first date!

I became friends with them at a block party last summer and really hit it off with them. They are world travelers, and them like me (and my Husband Kevin), love Europe. So we all connected in that aspect a lot. They are also spiritual people, and philosophers sort of, so we also hit it off with that too! 

Since that block party, (and before of course), I've been pretty sick- they know my health story, and they knew about my most recent excursion to Oregon to "get fixed". Anyway, during my recovery, they brought me a lot of the lunches that they ate and didn't finish. They would be over promptly around 12:35 pm with it. Their visits were priceless. I love having that generation in my life. I love to learn from them, and they always seem so fascinated by me (which I have to admit I love)! 

Aside from Ivan loving my dogs-he is always saying what an angel I am, and always telling me he better be careful around me or Mary will get jealous!  Well anyway, while I was recovering he always said he wanted to pick me up (even though we live right next door)- and go out for coffee one morning when I was feeling up to it. Well it finally happened! We arranged the plans a couple days ago and he showed up at my door promptly at 9:30am this morning! He opened my car door for me and everything! 

We went to Caribou and even in the car on the way, we started chatting away, there was never a dull or silent moment-no awkward silences, or pauses! Just pure conversational bliss!

When we got to Caribou, (it was his first time there)-I introduced him to all girls I use to work with there-and he said to them "Isn't Gina an angel?" Well, on with the story-I had to translate what he couldn't hear when they took our order. Then when we got done ordering, he couldn't figure out why we didn't get our drinks. I explained to him that we had to go down now to the end of the counter "bar", near the big fake white coffee cup was, to pick up our drinks. He ordered the "plainest coffee they have with cream." I ordered a half caf Latte'. 

We found a cozy area near the window, and didn't stop talking until he dropped me off at my door step 2 and a half hours later! I learned about his family, he learned about mine. We talked about traveling, and where we'd still like to travel to. We talked about God, and Jesus. We talked about work (he was a Teacher at Hastings High School for 25 years), children, spouses, health, politics, faith, hope, forgiveness, the elderly, food and art.

He was so considerate saying, "Now look how rude I'm being talking about me and my life, now how about you and your life, that's what we need to talk about."

I was so blessed today with this time-what a gift from the Almighty! I encourage everyone reading this to reach out to people-especially "older" people. They need us! We need them-Ivan had his spirit fed and I did too-both in different ways. Make time to befriend people, and see what God will do with it. 

Thank you for listening to my story of my date with Ivan. OH, and he smelled good too! 

6th Grade Reading Level

I had a realization last week as I was watching my daughter prance around the house (and yes, she prances). As I was watching her, I was thinking about how far she's come with things in her life and how far I'VE COME with things in HER life.

One of those things is her reading. I knew since the 1st Grade that is would be a struggle for her, not just intellectually, but personally too. She doesn't LIKE to read. She doesn't have much of an interest unless she has to. She much rather spend her time dancing around the house, listening to music or just hanging out in her room. I knew it would be a job for me to try to keep her interested and an effort to make sure she read at all! I think little things have helped, like doing her devotional together at night before bed; or her reading out loud (I still love to hear her do that in her room)!

The first time we found out she was struggling with Reading was in Grade school at Linwood. I think she was in 4th Grade and they said she was reading at like a 1st or 2nd Grade level. I freaked out! That feeling of knowing that about your child, as much as you don't want to, you almost feel like your child won't have a chance in life or something. Or that she was, dare I say it, "dumb".  I was so frustrated and worried. I worked really hard at helping her. I tried to find her books that she found interesting. Books she'd WANT to read. It was not an easy task. 

Madelynn was a little concerned too, she wondered if she was "bad" because she was so far "behind." So of course I worked that out with her. It just seemed like such a HUGE problem and such a scary thing. I was pretty overwhelmed. I thought "How am I going to help my daughter? Is she really in trouble here?"

Well, she was tested again last year, and sure enough this reading test said about the same thing, still 2 years behind! Neither of us were as concerned as we were the first time we heard it a few years ago. Madelynn has been reading well, and on her own, and out loud. And at her conferences, her English teacher said she's doing fine, just stick with helping her out and she'll be ok. She said not to be alarmed about it. Madelynn and I more or less just accepted it. I asked her if it bothered her, and her response was "Not really". 

Well, she was just tested again a few months ago, and Hallelujah! She's at a 6th Grade level (she's in 7th grade)! Only one year behind according to the world! But ya know what I realized? It IS according to the world! I mean I went from 8 years ago thinking she'd never learn to read, to 4 years ago realizing she had trouble with reading and being very freaked out about it, to more recently still finding out that she's below average and not really caring!!!

Of course I care! BUT-I am not worried. I will continue to help her and encourage her. But the beautiful thing is, is she doesn't mind either! When she showed me these test results a week ago, she actually handed me the slip of paper while she was prancing around! She is confident to know that she isn't interested in reading, but she will read because it's required. She's confident that she is good at other things, usually we are the best at the things we are interested in. 

Either way you slice it, Madelynn was made in the image of GOD! She wasn't and isn't made in the image of the WORLD. So even if they told us she read at a 2nd Grade level, that is OK with us! Her and I both have grown, and we've moved on from clinging to what the world and teachers and tests will say about her. It's about what I say as a Mother, and ultimately what God says, and who HE made us to be! Ain't no reading test gonna interfere with that!!!

To Be Called Beautiful

What I wouldn't give

to be called beautiful,

oh how I would feel,

oh how I would feel

To catch his eye

or for him to look

my way-

you have no idea

how much for

this I pray

How would it feel

to be noticed in 

such a way...

to capture one's heart

with my beauty?

this is what

I long for day to day

But Lord, why should I worry so?

When I know

this happens everyday to me

with You

Not From the Outside In

As a 6 year veteran in my walk with Jesus, I have grown and matured in many ways thanks to the Holy Spirit working in me and me holding on to Him for dear life! I went into reading the Bible with a 4th Grade reading comprehension, so the fact that I can read it and understand it, and then convey it and live it out, is truly one of God's miracles!

But one of the big things I've seen on my journey with the Lord, is how the way parents are raising or have raised their kids. I do not want to criticize here or anything like that. I don't want to be judgmental. This is more of an opinion that has formed from experience (I don't even like to form opinions or give them much of my time because that leads to judgement). So look at this more of a perspective, ya, that's a good word, perspective. 

Of a lot of the adults I know now that grew up in "Christian homes", a lot of them were raised similarly. One things I've noticed, (and living with my Husband has opened my eyes up to this a lot), is the voice of the parent/s has been an authoritative one. A lot of kids are raised in christian homes be told what to do and what not to do. Let me be more specific. One things we hope for our children as we raise them is to follow God's will into their singleness, and as they grow in that that they stay abstinent. Another example is that we want to teach our kids to stay away from drunkenness. One other example could be to teach them not to swear. The examples of what we want for our children in a godly life are endless. 

The problem I see with telling your kids to stay away from these things (I am not saying NOT to tell them to stay away from these things or beware of these things)-is that it becomes more or less a set of rules. And you know how it is when we as adults try to abide by a set of rules-if we don't have Christ in us, we could NEVER abide by that list! Anyway, I am not trying to say that we shouldn't teach are kids this stuff, I just think it's been a little backwards for too many years. Here's why.

If we just go on and on to our kids, and give them all these biblical "rules", but they haven't accepted Jesus into their hearts and if they aren't fully surrendered to Him and finding a new life in Him, then that is what they will remain-rules. They won't become a way of life that has made them a new person. In my experience when children are raised this way, they tend to "fall" really hard as adults, or become backsliders. They also can grow up as adults resenting Christianity, or just be mere believers-not really living out God's Word.

One example of this is this: My daughter LOVES LOVES LOVES, I mean LOVES Miley Cyrus (Hannah Montana)! She also loves The Disney Channel in general. She is 13. Her room looks like mine did when I was 13 (except my posters were Jon Bon Jovi, Madonna, and Cyndi Lauper), you cannot see her pretty painted blue walls any longer! They are line with POSTERS! At first it botheredme; even though most of the kids on her walls are good role models, I just didn't like the focus on the "world" ya know? And how empty it can be to chase after the Hollywood stuff. But I've been there. I was that way up until 6 years ago! I didn't change until God changed the desires of my heart.

Well, my Husband Kevin told me we shouldn't let her put "all those posters up." And I searched and thought-"She in her heart and mind has no reason not to." Granted if it was something dangerous or really unhealthy, then she wouldn't have a choice-I'd make the decision for her. But it's Disney Channel actors! It'd be different if it were all boys, or if it was like 'Metallica' or something! I am so grateful it's the posters it is. 

I told Kevin that I thought it was harmless, and as long as I share with her that being so wrapped up in that stuff is a dead end, and I stay on top of her life, I think it's OK. Plus, she's 13! She will grow out of it, and I know it's perfectly healthy, and normal. It's just like boys that age having sports posters.

My hope for Madelynn is that she eventually truly know Christ, and that she won't even care about the posters in her room. And there is a healthy balance; I don't let her buy Cosmo, and she knows why. We keep the communication open.

So this is my one good example of how forbidding something, just because we as christian adults know it isn't right to get life out of celebrities-and we can teach our kids that-but at the same time, giving them the room and chance to grow into their own people!

I think it's more important and successful to focus on teaching your children to look more like Christ. For us as parents to be an example of His character. Encouraging them to make wise choices in regards to music and movies, and friends, and explaining why. For me to focus on my walk as a parent, is so crucial. It is a living example for my child to see what Christ has done for me, and for me to live out my new life. That means I ask for forgiveness from my child, and I tell my child that I need grace too. And we together show mercy, grace and forgiveness. 

I don't believe that my daughter will (for very long) follow some set of rules from the Bible if her heart is missing Jesus. That is trying to work her from "the outside in", and we need to we are built to work from "the inside out". If Madelynn accepts Christ, on her own, by her own will, then her heart will start to change. God does change the desires of our hearts if we truly stay with Him, and seek Him, and His will. Madelynn won't just not listen to KDWB (a horrible hip hop station in Mpls.) because I tell her she can't cuz it's bad. Instead she won't because along with me encouraging her NOT to, and explaining what the songs are saying and how degrading they are, and nasty-and by telling her that it isn't good to hear that stuff because it can stick in your brain etc....and that it isn't good for her, or pleasing to God-she will also not because she will truly not want to. She will be unattracted to it for her own reasons.

When Christ is truly in her heart, and in ours, it comes---dare I say----pretty easy to do God's will and what pleases Him. We will obviously never be sinless, but I think it becomes more natural because of our heart condition, to not. 

Working with our children from the "inside out" means we focus on Jesus. We don't worry so much about our kids having sex before marriage, and saying to them, "Now you can't have sex before marriage, cuz that's a big sin and it's wrong." I mean obviously that is the truth-but if we are encouraging and simplify it by saying something like, "Now, it's not God's plan that you would have sex before you got married, and I would encourage you as a Mother to stay abstinent, because I've seen the dangers it can bring, but if something ever happened and you did, I want you to be able to come to me and I won't condemn you or shame you." 

And often, if not always, trying to remember to talk about the character of Christ. Because if we focus on that, and focus on praying for our children to accept Him on their own, it will be more likely with that "inside" change, that the "outside" will be a walk that is pleasing to God. The outside automatically becomes more obedient if our inside is working in accordance with Jesus. Out of shear mad love for Him, because of what He did-that is what we want our kids to see, what He did for them that looooong day he spent on Calvary's Hill. 

It's only then that we are compelled, even as adults, to really live our new life in Him, not in therory, or in that truth, but in the reality of it. Daily letting go of that old life, and continually replacing it with new parts. Whether one day you are more gentle or patient,  or one day you are less selfish. It all counts as newness in Christ, and that is our goal!