Back to the Source

Each day there is a new challenge. Whether it's pretty simple, to pretty complex. It could be work issues, it could be relationship issues. It could be car trouble, bills that can't get paid, or health issues; which can all be minor to extreme.

Sometimes these issues come in seasons. For others they are more often. Either way, we all deal with challenges, problems, "the blues", and adversity in some way, shape or form.

I won't write about how long my adversity has been going on, or what it all has entailed. I've done that before. But each day is anew, and each day it seems like I try to "figure" out how to deal with it. If it's any of the things listed above, it seems like the search starts on how to fix it or take care of it, and although that is ok with certain things, like taking action to pay our bills or taking measures to take care of our health, that goes without saying. But I am referring to more of our "state" in regard to these things. I've written since the 4th grade; poems and articles and short stories, I could not live a day without writing! And I know I've touched on this over and over, but as I lay here icing and heating my back, back and forth, I remember the funk I woke up in on Monday morning, and it's now Tuesday morning--and the funk hasn't left.

I start searching for answers and think of how I can get out of this--what can I do? I look for solutions, and yes, there are things I CAN do to help, but it will always go back to you know who-Jesus.

I put myself through the torture of looking, searching and wondering how I'm gonna get outta this rut, and all along, it's the same way out of it. It's always at the Cross. Why do I search and think for days or weeks on how to get out of the blues, or whatever you want to call it, when all along there is ONE answer? My human-ness I guess. My want or will to fix things myself, or search for something that isn't so obvious (God). As aware of Him as I am throughout my days, I still have quite the ability to push Him comfortably out of sight(and mind). As much as I love Him and live my life FOR Him, I am still human and battle that daily.

So as familiar as we all are with the saying, "Look No Further", well, let's put it into action regardless of our situation, or how painful life can be.

We need to get ourselves in front of Jesus, here are some tangible ways to be renewed, receive His peace (that surpasses ALL understanding), seek Wisdom, and to maintain Spiritual "evenness" as I like to call it:

*Get into the Word. If you grew up with the Bible, try reading The Message, or buying a Epistle that is remixed by a different Author, so it feels fresh and new to you. Read a Chapter at a time, and then do a devotional with it, or at least journal a bit after reading.

*Pray. Like the Book, "Practicing The Presence of God" we want to learn to create and cultivate new habits, and having God in our awareness round the clock! This takes TIME. We have to MAKE TIME. I never ever no matter what by into people saying, "I don't have time." OH yes you do, MAKE IT. Keeping our Spirits and selves aligned with the Lord's is something we have to do on a moment by moment basis. In our thoughts, words and deeds, we offer these up continually so more and more we look like Jesus. How can we possibly ever look like Him if we aren't offering ourselves to Him, or talking to Him, which is all prayer is.

*Quiet time. Whether you take a bath in candle light (like I did yesterday:), or you go in an area of your house and just get quiet. You can either pray for the whole time specifically, or you can be silent. Just take even 20 minutes to get by yourself with God. And even if you just sit there, just get quiet.

*Worship. Whether it's in your car as you are commuting, or in the house; listening to worship music to worship God can calm anyone's Spirit and re-center us and get us in God's presence.

*Write. Sometimes when I pray I can get distracted, even if I pray outloud, which helps sometimes. But if I write a prayer out or cry out on paper, it helps a lot! God is with us in ALL things, so it doesn't matter how we "get it out." God will show up if you are seeking Him.

*Be patient. It might not "feel" like you are making progress right away in receiving peace or Wisdom, but you will. When and if we are truly drawing near to God, HE WILL draw near to us. He will show up. Just don't stop seeking. He will reveal Himself to you.

*Look at His creation. There is so much beauty around. Even the SOUNDS of beauty! Especially with Spring on it's way. Get out and walk, or listen for the birds. Or look at flowers and trees. Or bodies of Water!

Just don't let go of God in the midst. It's so easy to get lost in our own lives and our own selves, and then we end up looking for other solutions to our problems. But the One solution will never change, it will always quench and always feed. WE just have to go to IT.

Barefoot with a cause!

www.tomsshoes.com

It will be a challenge, but I am up for it! Join me!

A Long Overdue Shout Out

My daughter and I were at Target today, and for days she's been talking about the Hannah Montana Movie that is coming out this coming weekend. Then she started talking about the Soundtrack to the Movie.

The fact that my daughter is 14, and STILL loves Hannah Montana makes my day!!! SO I bought her the Album because it's like I'm trying to hold on to any glimpse of "little girl-ness" that I can. And then it reminded me again and again, over and over. She is the only one I got.

Which is A LOT--but, it has been a struggle after getting married, to not have a child with my Husband, and not being able to give him any of his own. I won't see any other child go through growing up--when I'm done with Madelynn, I'm done. And then it hit me, and I was overcome with sadness, but then reminded of how wonderful my Husband, Kevin has been for 7 years in the aspect of me not being able to have children. I mean, he probably thought he'd graduate College, and marry (which he did), then have kids, like most men.

Not once, not once in my time with Kevin has he ever been anything less than SUPPORTIVE and wonderful and patient and understanding, and loving regarding the whole matter.

He has only even told me ONCE I think that yes, he would have liked his own child, but maybe ONCE.

He has never blamed me, or shamed me, or been upset with me about it. I need to recognize that, ya know. I could dwell in it and feel awful like I have in the past, but I can't sit in that guilt. Or say, "I wish."

So as I watch my daughters last technically 4 years in my presence, and I think about the sadness, and the thought of a life "without" Madelynn, and wish there might be another child, and a child for my Husband, I will instead focus on the precious gift of support and love through the years from him as we've dealt with not being able to have a child together.

(and the little glimpse's of madelynn still being "little", like liking Hannah Montana:}

His support deserves a BIG SHOUT OUT! GO KEVIN!

Lois, Gina and Coffee

This is me and my good friend Lois at my house. I had her over after lunch out for coffee. We looked at Art Books, played with the Dogs, and talked about when she was my age.

Lois is an Artist, as most of you know, and when she was 16, she sold a lot of her Paintings to the Oscar Meyer family (yes the hotdogs). Her son is currently looking for these paintings so she can have an Exhibit.

She believes to this day that Georgia O'Keefe stole "all her glory."

I sure hope one day Lois gets the recognition she deserves, and that she lives to see it!