I know I haven't written in a while. My mind, heart and soul have been on overload! And sometimes when it gets that way, I can't speak, write or pray. I just have to "remain".
One place I have been in my walk with Jesus, has been that in over 6 years, I bought my first non-christian Album. I think it's because one of the ways I am feeling is a little "rebellious". Not that it makes me a rebel if I buy a secular album, but if you know me at all, that is a rebellious thing for me to do. I have been feeling like I've wanted to shut things out; such as wisdom from others, morals, and even some of my time with Jesus. It's like I need a break if that makes senses at all.
I think it's because I am reading this book on Co-dependency, and I feel like that is a separate journey for me, a recovery in a sense that I need to just have "Gina" time whatever that might look like. I've even felt like going to a night club lately! I wouldn't make it past 10:00 o'clock, so it's probably not going to happen, but that gives you an idea of what I'm going through. I also feel like I've wanted to act single. Like not so much "acting single", but just to separate mentally and just look out for me for once. This life we live in the Kingdom IS all about others, but I'm so out of whack, that I take that to the 100th degree, and get hurt in the process, and that is what needs to stop. And I think the only way to do that is to focus on myself for once in my life.
So here is what God is showing me:
*never be too comfortable in your words, as they can come back and bite you in the _____!
*we need each other and support (in my case some experienced strangers (from church) that know about co-dependency) to get through this life
*we all have a basic need: to love and to be loved in return
*when you are vulnerable and hurt, satan cooks up some good temptations-and you become open to them no matter how much Christ is in you
*every single solitary thing we do, every single solitary word we say is our choice-and it either brings safeness or danger to the soul
*we can not serve two masters--it's one or the other--our flesh (satan), or the spirit (Jesus)
*the journey in life is your own--God is telling a story everyday, what will your story be?
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Mixed Baggage
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2 comments:
You the bomb, Gina! Luv ya!
Timo
OK, Mixed Baggage...I did not read that before. I just saw the pics and page. The layout is good and pics are great.
Anyway, I have much to say about the Mixed Baggage topic. We will have to sit down and have a deep conversation. I have some experience about these things that may not help but might hurt you, instead. But you might just need to hurt before you get to the source of who you are. You said God made you right when I said God made you right, but you used PAST tense, while I meant PRESENT tense.
The gift I want from you, is for you to be REAL. No pulling punches on yourself (but be kind to others...don't beat me up with the truth).
I'm coming back tonight. A friend's sister had a bike accident in Duluth, and I might stop to say a prayer in the hospital on the way home.
OK, see you later.
Just be yourself, but reach deep. Living on the surface will kill you. Living deep feels like we are dying, sometimes, but it's the only life worth living.
Peace Through Love~
Timothy
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