Isn't this a sweet picture of Madelynn! Love those eyes!

Her friend Kelsey took this.

Underneath

Look at us break our bonds in this kitchen
Look at us rallying all our defenses
Look at us waging war in our bedrooms
Look at us jumping ship in our dialogues

There is no difference in what we're doing in here (behind closed doors)
That doesn't show up as bigger symptoms out there
So why spend all our time in dressing our bandages
When we've the ultimate key to the cause right here---our underneath

Look at us form our cliques in our sandbox
Look at us micro kids with both our hearts blocked
Look at us turn away from all the rough spots
Look at the dictatorship on my own block

There is no difference in what we're doing in here
That doesn't show up as bigger symptoms out there
So why spend all our time in dressing our bandages (faking, not being authentic, drawing a pretty picture, covering up)
When we've the ultimate key to the cause right here--our underneath

How I've spun my wheels with carts before my horse
When shine on the outside springs from the root
Spotlight on these seeds of simpler reasons
This core, born into form, starts in my livingroom

There is no difference in what we're doing in here
That doesn't show up as bigger symptoms out there
So why spend all our time in dressing our bandages
When we've the ultimate key to the cause right here--our underneath

Written by Alanis Morissette

Mixed Baggage

I know I haven't written in a while. My mind, heart and soul have been on overload! And sometimes when it gets that way, I can't speak, write or pray. I just have to "remain".
One place I have been in my walk with Jesus, has been that in over 6 years, I bought my first non-christian Album. I think it's because one of the ways I am feeling is a little "rebellious". Not that it makes me a rebel if I buy a secular album, but if you know me at all, that is a rebellious thing for me to do. I have been feeling like I've wanted to shut things out; such as wisdom from others, morals, and even some of my time with Jesus. It's like I need a break if that makes senses at all.
I think it's because I am reading this book on Co-dependency, and I feel like that is a separate journey for me, a recovery in a sense that I need to just have "Gina" time whatever that might look like. I've even felt like going to a night club lately! I wouldn't make it past 10:00 o'clock, so it's probably not going to happen, but that gives you an idea of what I'm going through. I also feel like I've wanted to act single. Like not so much "acting single", but just to separate mentally and just look out for me for once. This life we live in the Kingdom IS all about others, but I'm so out of whack, that I take that to the 100th degree, and get hurt in the process, and that is what needs to stop. And I think the only way to do that is to focus on myself for once in my life.

So here is what God is showing me:

*never be too comfortable in your words, as they can come back and bite you in the _____!
*we need each other and support (in my case some experienced strangers (from church) that know about co-dependency) to get through this life
*we all have a basic need: to love and to be loved in return
*when you are vulnerable and hurt, satan cooks up some good temptations-and you become open to them no matter how much Christ is in you
*every single solitary thing we do, every single solitary word we say is our choice-and it either brings safeness or danger to the soul
*we can not serve two masters--it's one or the other--our flesh (satan), or the spirit (Jesus)
*the journey in life is your own--God is telling a story everyday, what will your story be?